By Jenna Makes Good
I just want to say thank you
To all those that claimed to love me
Yet lived in deception and envy
Thank you for hurting me so
I could let go
Because if not for the pain, my starry eyes would have continued to see the good
Beneath the surface and hurtful comments
The dubious truth of it all was that you reflected a part of me that would have continued to accept the deceit within myself
Looking into the mirror, I see the light they all want to steal
The warmth that keeps them just close enough to feel something, anything
Even if that means you would capture one’s flame trying to contain it for yourself.
Obtain me, as if I am something to hold and keep
My fire burns bright, so even I tend to burn the ones I claim to love
I apologize for not knowing better before I knew anything at all
And If I could go back and change it, I wouldn’t.
I chose to love and see the goodness in others until I absolutely could not bear it upon my soul any longer
I settled into my own realities and limiting beliefs.
I would have let you warm yourself in the deep cold of loneliness
The way I love, I am pulled in all directions.
Maybe this is why I was left with no one.
My energy remains swirling still, but around me instead.
Forgiveness is realizing that I don’t understand why anything happened
But I know that it happened for me.
The cosmos remains favoring me even in the deepest depths of despair.
When I was surrounded by darkness.
The only thing left was my own light.
I am thankful to myself,
For continuing to shine within a world where others do not see their own.
So I pioneer the path for selfishness
And in doing so, I am now the most selfless I have ever been.
Peeling back the layers, what is left when I have lost all I love?
What remains of me, when the constructs that designed me,
Both betray and defy me?
I have created my own world.
One in which I see myself clearly enough to know that this was all a part of calling in awareness
I walk through the grasses and I’m one with the flowers
As I breathe in the air, I am mother earth’s very own
Maybe she knows all my pain and she cries with me
As I cry with her
And under the sunlight I sing with the birds
I hear the love in their chirps
I, too, am grateful to be awake today
The pain reminds me that I am alive.
I reminisce on the first cries I screamed when I was born into this world.
I was alive then, I am alive now
Life hurts, in the most beautiful way.
